Why I believe there are NO rules, when it comes to having your life together!

About The Author:

Sunshine Sarah is a blogger from Harrogate, North Yorkshire who loves nothing better than long hot bubble baths accompanied by a glass of wine, walks in the countryside preferably with a dog and a visit to a pub and brunching with friends. You can find all her links at the end of this blog post. Thank you Sarah!


When I was a teenager, I always believed that by 25 I’d have my life together and would be pregnant with twins – a boy and a girl naturally so I’d get it all over in one pregnancy! At that time I thought 25 was OLD (ha!) so therefore I’d have the husband, my own home, a dog and a white picket fence!

Naturally, I’d been sold this idea by society and the media I was consuming at the time. Thankfully social media wasn’t really around when I was growing up, so I wasn’t constantly being sold this ideal every time I looked at my phone – mainly because *shock horror* technology was not as developed as it is today, plus not every teenager had their own phone! I know, I know it must’ve been the dark ages!

Sunshine Sarah

It was just what society as a whole was telling young girls that’s what is expected of you. Go to school, perhaps university, graduate, find a man, marry him, have babies etc. There wasn’t really anything else we were supposed to do, or at least if there WAS anything else a woman could or should do!

So growing up with this ideal made me feel as though there was a time limit on everything. It was a bit like having a baby and them not hitting their milestones at the right time. It makes you question everything as a mother and if you’re doing something which is causing your baby to not hit these *sometimes* unrealistic milestones. Whenever I hit an age where I was expected to do something but hadn’t, I wondered why me? What have I done to not attract a partner?

When I hit 25 and found myself very much NOT pregnant with twins it hit harder than anything else. I could see friends around me settling down, finding partners, getting engaged and having children. I wondered, so what IS wrong with me then? Why doesn’t anyone want to settle down with me?

There was still pressure to get a good job, find a partner, start saving for a home, be on a diet, to not be fat, I mean there was pressure from everywhere. It felt as though deciding to start my own business instead of going to work for someone else was going against the grain somehow.

white ceramic mug on table
Unsplash

Breaking The Rules

Now I’m almost 10 years on from that ‘magic 25’ I’m in a much better place and happier than I thought I could ever be by deciding to follow my own path. Starting my own business straight out of university definitely felt like I was going against the grain.

I only had the bravery to do this because my parents had successfully run their own business for 20 years, so growing up in that environment had instilled in me the idea that I could do the same. I was already doing what I would eventually go on to do as a business so I knew I enjoyed it! It was my Dad who said to me ‘why don’t you set this up as a business’ after doing a couple of jobs for friends in the village I was living in.

This was just the start of me pushing the boundaries and living my own life! As I’ve gotten older, I’ve found myself doing this in almost every aspect from my love life, my job, to where I live. It’s liberating to tear up the supposed life plan and go it alone!

Sydney Opera House, Australia during day
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I ran my own business for 7 years so I must have done something right! I then changed plans again and went to Australia for 2 years, in a delayed gap year of sorts! This felt like I was giving two big fingers up to everything that society had taught me from a young age and being a bit of a rebel!

Living my life according to my rules is definitely the most refreshing thing I could ever do for my younger self. Yes to some extent, society’s ideals are there for a reason and they can help guide us if we’re unsure of what to do in life or which path to take. But sometimes, it’s good to remember that:

“You’ll learn, as you get older, that rules are made to be broken. Be bold enough to live life on your terms and never, ever apologise for it. Go against the grain, refuse to conform, take the road less travelled instead of the well-beaten path” Mandy Hale.


You can Follow Sarah on her social platforms below:

Twitter: @sunshinesarahxo

Instagram: @sunshinesarahxo / @therealsunshinesarah

Blog: www.sunshinesarahxo.com

Thank you to Sarah once again for this amazing Guest Post, if you’re interested in writing a guest post for this site, make sure to check out the Work with Me page or drop me a DM on either Twitter or Instagram!

Thanks for reading!

Han xx

8 Comments

  1. Awesome post! There is no “right way” to do things and everyone does things at a different pace. There’s no set timeline, no rules, and as long as you’re grinding and doing what you want to do to make you happy then all is good!

  2. I love that your father was so supportive and encouraging… thank you for sharing!

  3. I was like you when I was younger, I thought by the time I would reach 25, I would have my whole life together, but I definitely don’t, I’m 27 now and am nowhere near having my life together! A great post x

    Lucy | http://www.lucymary.co.uk

  4. Incredible insight! Some people spend their entire lives feeling like they failed because they are unable to let go of the vision they had for themselves when they were younger. It is important to allow your ideal life to grow and expand as you do and to be flexible. Thank you for sharing your story.

  5. Aspen Hite says:

    Love it. The older you get, the less inclined you are to do anything that doesn’t make your heart happy. Follow your intuition. Be true to you. Always. Blessed be. 💃🙏😊

  6. When I turned 25…many years ago…I remember being so upset that I wasn’t in a relationship when all my friends were getting married and having babies. Years later, I saw most of them get divorced just as I was getting married. There is no “right” path, just the one that’s right for you.

  7. This is a great guest post, thank you both for sharing! And I totally agree. There are no rules or timeline. Things change. I think the societal “norm” of having done x, y or z by a certain age is so damaging!

  8. Such a great post! There are really no rules to how we should live our lives. Most of the time we are all just trying to figure things out as we go. And as you mention, rules are meant to be broken. That’s how you learn 😊. Thanks for sharing.

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