Shitty Heartbreaks and Happy Endings…

Just before I start I want to let you know my ex does know I am writing this post and he’s okay with it, and my boyfriend is also okay with me writing this post. P.S This is a long one, but hopefully very worth the read. Also this isn’t meant to be a negative view on relationships and break ups it’s my story of the silver lining, my awful break up had on me, back in October 2017.

Originally I never wanted to talk about it as I’d managed to bury it all (including those awful feelings break ups bring) however I feel positive and happy now, enough to share my story. The first few paragraphs will be giving you information on the relationship and break up itself however it will then go onto that silver lining.

So a little bit of background information, I met my ex at college back in 2015, we became boyfriend and girlfriend on 1st July 2015 and this relationship lasted till the end of October 2017. We had a few big and small bumps in the road throughout this relationship, but nothing I felt would end the relationship for good.

This was until nearing the end of October I felt way too distant and had that gut instinct that something was wrong or something had happened, and it didn’t help that I had minimal communication with my ex at this time.

I remember the night I found out. I was sat in Revolution in Leicester having a meal and some cocktails with my friend Emma, we were laughing, giggling, gossiping, the usual and I gave my ex the opportunity to explain (over text) what had been going on because I was sick of having this (what felt like) black hole in my stomach.

This was the text that tore out my heart, ripped it to shreds and threw it into that black hole I’d been feeling for the past week. He had cheated on me. I’m not going to go into detail because I don’t want to be name and shaming because as I said earlier, this post isn’t about the break up, it’s what it brought me.

Every girls (probably) worst nightmare had just come true for one girl. Me. Once I’d found out, I was flooding with tears, blood filling with anger and head blowing out steam, Emma asked if I wanted to leave and without no hesitation I said yes and grabbed my belongings and stormed out of there (obviously we paid before we left). I practically ran home (still with Emma, I cannot thank her enough for the amount of support she gave me throughout this whole nightmare!).

For days and days on end, as you would imagine, I cried and cried, and got progressively more angry, however I definitely had those ‘I don’t care, he’s a dick, I’m better off’ days where I buried all those negative emotions and became a Sassy Woman for the day.

3 Months on….

Despite the s**t I went through to do it, I came out of the relationship a hell of a lot stronger and knowing my true worth. I’ve got a new boyfriend now who treats me like a princess, I tell him this all the time but he genuinely is my knight in shining armour. I am actually glad (in a weird way) that my break up happened and turned out the way it did because without it, would not have come all this happiness I have now.

Some things that my past relationship taught me were:

  • Trust your instincts – If you have that sinking gut feeling that something is up, sorry to break it to you but most of the time it’s right.
  • Trust and communication is EVERYTHING – I forgot to mention that a week prior to us breaking up, I got a total of approximately 7 texts (in one week, yes probably about one a day). That was a huge give away to me that something was wrong.
  • Your family and friends are your saviours – when it comes to those awful times, these people can make you go from feeling like a -2 to a 10 just by being in their company. I know for sure I wouldn’t have made it through and come out stronger if it weren’t for my friends and family.
  • Be appreciative of what the bad times bring. Find that silver lining. I found my new boyfriend and have already had the most incredible 7 months with him and because he saw me at my worst when I was going through the break up, I know he truly loves me for me.

I honestly never thought I’d be writing a post so revealing about my past and present relationships as I never pinned myself to be that public about it all, but I feel for anyone having gone through or going through a rough break up, it feels like the end of the world. Trust me it’s not, it’s just your path turning off in a different direction.

Once again,

Thanks for reading, hope this helped at least someone…

Han xx

2 Comments

  1. Your friend Emma seems like such a gem! But honestly so sorry you had to go through that, i can never imagine that! but a lot of the time you definitely find yourself and of course find someone so much better!

    1. Yeah she is, thank you yeah it’s something I’d never wish upon my worst enemy xx

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